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How To Repent

Monday, 22 May 2017 by Johnny Harwood

The importance of repentance is hard to overstate. After all, Jesus’s first public exhortation was “Repent!” (Mark 1:15)—and if it was that high on Jesus’s list, we probably should pay attention too.

But how do we repent well? Psalm 32 is a wonderful place to explore the nature and process of deep repentance. Here are five vital steps.

1. Be honest about your need for repentance.

How happy is the man the LORD does not charge with sin, and in whose spirit is no deceit! (v. 2)

Repentance requires honesty. No one comes to God with true repentance in their heart unless they’ve first acknowledged their need for forgiveness and reconciliation with him. Only those who have ceased trying to cover up their sin with self-righteousness and deceit can experience the deep and lasting change that comes only through repentance.

2. Acknowledge the danger of sin and damage of guilt.

When I kept silent, my bones became brittle from my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was drained as in the summer’s heat. (vv. 3–4)

Let’s face it: you are seeking repentance because God’s Spirit has convicted you. We often blame others for our stress and general moodiness, but many times we simply feel bad because we’ve done bad things. David describes physical and emotional symptoms associated with a guilty conscience. We must honestly assess the consequences of our sin, which means assessing both personal consequences and the impact it has had—and will continue to have—on others.

3. Confess fully.

I acknowledged my sin to you and did not conceal my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD.” (v. 5a)

Deep repentance demands full confession. Though it seems counterintuitive, the only way to be truly covered by Christ is to fully expose your sin. In the process of repentance, we must fight to be utterly transparent before God about the depth and breadth of our sin. Only ruthless honesty will suffice—and lead to freedom and joy.

4. Hide in God.

You took away the guilt of my sin. Therefore let everyone who is faithful pray to you at a time when you may be found. When the great floodwaters come, they will not reach him. You are my hiding place; You protect me from trouble. You surround me with joyful shouts of deliverance. (vv. 5b–7)

Adam and Eve hid behind inadequate, self-made coverings to mask their sin and shame. We too often hide behind self-made righteousness in order to make ourselves appear more acceptable than we really are. If you want to change, to really change—which, by the way, is the mark of true repentance—then you must hide in God alone.

It’s not enough just to repent of overt sins. It’s not enough to say, “I admit to my wrong behaviors.” All kinds of people repent that way, especially religious people with an image to maintain.

A Christian doesn’t just repent of their outward sins, but also of their attempts to hide behind shoddy self-made righteousness. Stop hiding in your effort. Hide in God.

5. Seize the hope.

Many pains come to the wicked, but the one who trusts in the LORD will have faithful love surrounding him. (v. 11)

How can you be sure God will forgive you? His unfailing love. Recall and find assurance in the great promises he has made throughout history, and how they have been fulfilled in Jesus Christ:

  • His promise to Adam and Eve to crush the enemy
  • His promise to Abraham to claim and protect a people
  • His promise to Moses to provide a way for sinful humans to meaningfully relate to a holy God
  • His promise to David to provide a once-and-for-all eternal King for his people

All throughout history—right on up to the moment when you’re repenting—God has been saying, and continues to say, “I love you. I will not fail you. I am enough.”

Look to the promises of God, seize the hope, and “be glad in the LORD and rejoice, you righteous ones; shout for joy, all you upright in heart!” (Psalm 32:11).

Article can be found here

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5 Reasons Prayer Is Good For You

Tuesday, 25 April 2017 by Johnny Harwood
5 Reasons Why Prayer is Good For You

Prayer is a crucial part of our spiritual relationship with God. Here are five reasons why prayer is beneficial to your life.

1. Connect With God

Prayer is a form of worship and an act of praise. When offering our requests to God, we are vulnerable, humbly asking for divine help.

Prayer is the opportunity to share our wants and needs with God, including him in our daily lives.

2. Restore or Build Faith

We can start out or reach a point in our Christian walk, with weak faith. Faith can be born on shaky ground – as a new believer who is just learning about Christ – and faith can be whittled down by our jaded outlook or life struggles.

Sending our prayers to God strengthens and builds our spiritual life. The more time we put in, learning about him through study of his word and prayer, the more we learn about his love and our faith.

3. Express Yourself

Some things we say in prayer, we don’t say out loud. Prayer is the time to express yourself.  You can “lay your burdens down,” talk to God about your secrets, your feelings, or just say a simple, “Thank you.”

4. Live Healthier and With Longer Life

Studies show that prayer can lead to a healthier life as well as extend it. Spending a few minutes each day to worship can provide physical and emotional benefits such as lightening our mood, improving our cardiovascular health, and lowering blood pressure.

5. Humble Ourselves

When we bow our heads and lift our heads in prayer to go before God, it is in humility. Our selfishness, our arrogance is gone because prayer acknowledges that we are servants to God. His power, love and grace, is abundant, more than enough, and He is to be praised.

It can also change our attitude towards our problems, as we pray for others who may be doing much worse.

Full Article Can Be Seen Here

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You Need Spiritual Food for Spiritual Strength

Wednesday, 19 April 2017 by Johnny Harwood

“Search, You Need Spiritual Food for Spiritual Strength for the LORD and his strength. Always seek his presence” (1 Chronicles 16:11 GW).

Just like you need physical food for physical strength, you need spiritual food for spiritual strength. The Bible describes itself as spiritual food — the water, milk, bread, and meat of our spiritual lives. It’s everything you need for sustenance.

If you were a construction contractor, you wouldn’t consider sending out a guy who hadn’t eaten anything in two weeks. If you were a commander in the Army, you wouldn’t send a person into battle who hadn’t eaten in a month. Right? We need to feed ourselves to have the strength to accomplish the tasks ahead of us.

You’re not going to have much success in winning the spiritual battles you face if you’re starving yourself to death. That’s why we need to feed on the Word of God.

Unlike eating physical food, whenever I feed on God’s Word, I get even hungrier. The more I taste and see how good God is, the more I want.

The Bible says in Colossians 3:16a, “Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly” (NIV). Paul is telling us to let the Bible take up residence in our lives in a rich, profound, and life-giving way.

So how do we feed ourselves on the Word of God and allow that to happen?

  • Receive the Word with your ears. Commit yourself to go to church and listen to God’s Word being preached.
  • Read the Word with your eyes. Having a Bible in your house is not going to bless your life. You have to have the Bible in your heart.
  • Research the Word with your hands and mouth. When studying the Word of God, keep a pencil in your hand. Write down what God teaches. Talk about what you’re discovering with other believers in a small-group environment.
  • Reflect on the Word with your mind. Think about and chew on God’s Word.
  • Remember the Word with your heart. You’ll rarely have a Bible with you when you need it. Commit God’s Word to memory.

Talk It Over

  • What changes do you need to make in your life so that you are spiritually nourished?
  • Do you write down what God teaches you? What you are memorizing from Scripture?
  • What spiritual battle are you fighting today? Have you turned to God’s Word for sustenance?

Full Article can be found Here

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6 Reasons God Says No To Our Prayers

Wednesday, 05 April 2017 by Johnny Harwood

Reasons God Says No

God does not arbitrarily or capriciously say no; as with all of His other actions, He has a purpose.  Let’s consider some of the reasons God says no to some of our requests.

1.  We harbor unconfessed sin – Psalm 66:18

The Bible makes it clear that we all sin and sin breaks our fellowship with God. (1 John 1:5-10) Maintaining the open line of fellowship with God is the most important need we have in life.  Before granting any other requests we make, God wants us to deal with sin that breaks our fellowship with Him.

God says no not to punish us, but to focus us on the greatest need we have – fellowship with Him.

2.  We ask selfishly – James 4:3

Consequently, another reason God says no to us is because our request is self-focused rather than kingdom-focused.  In the Model Prayer, Jesus taught us to pray for the accomplishment of His will and kingdom. (Matthew 6:9-13)  God delights to give us things that advance His agenda, and He is loathe to grant us our selfish desires.

3. Our request is not good for us. – James 1:17

The verse above teaches us that God gives us whatever is good for us. The phrase “good gift” reminds us that God has given us anything good we already have.  The phrase “perfect gift” teaches us that God will give us everything that could possibly be good for us.

Often God says no to us for our own good. I can think of specific times God said no to my request when I later looked back in thanksgiving.

4.  The timing is not right.  Ecclesiastes 3:1, 11

Sometimes, God says no only for a season.  He may intend to eventually grant our request, but He knows a future time will better serve His purposes.  As Solomon observed, God makes everything beautiful in its time.

5.  God wants to test our persistence. Luke 18:1-8

In the parable of the persistent widow and unjust judge, Jesus encouraged us to “always pray and not lost heart.”  Since He enjoys our fellowship, sometimes God says no for a season to keep us in prayer.  That time of seeming delay, however, is also for our good.  During the season of delay, God is shaping us and building our faith in Him.

How to Respond When God Says No

1.  Trust the goodness of God.  Know that God has a very good reason for saying no to your request.

2.  Examine your heart for lingering sinful attitudes and/or actions you have not addressed.  Exercise 1 John 1:9, confess, receive cleansing, and move on in obedience.

3.  Consider your motives for your request.  Ask God to help you seek HIS kingdom first.

4.  Continue to pray until you sense you have received God’s final “no.”

Do not lost heart when God says no, it may only be temporary.  Even if not, you can trust His wisdom and goodness, and know He will give you what is best.

Full Article Can Be Found Here

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4 Reasons to Study Prophecy

Wednesday, 29 March 2017 by Johnny Harwood

(1) Prophecy encourages Godly living – when we do not intentionally think about our eternal future it becomes easy to believe that this earth is all there is, which leads to sloppy spirituality and unrighteous living. 1 John 2:28-3:

(2) Prophecy gives hope and comfort – we remember that our current troubles are only temporary and a day is coming when all troubles will cease; the best is yet to come.  Revelation 20-21

(3) Prophecy warns to flee from the wrath to come – knowing that an eternity in Heaven or Hell is real should motivate us to live Godly lives, and share the way to Christ with others.  Romans 1:8

(4) Prophecy gives us confidence in Gods character and sovereignty – when life seems out of control and haphazard we can know that God is in complete control and not taken by surprise at the turns of our life. Psalm 103:19

Furthermore, we can see the emphasis that Christ places on prophecy in 1 Corinthians 14:1-5.

Paul tells us to first, pursue love, then above all else, pursue the gift of prophesy for edification, encouragement, and consolation of the body of Christ, the Church.

Full Article can be found Here

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3 Ways to Know If An Open Door Is From God

Tuesday, 21 March 2017 by Johnny Harwood

Just because an opportunity presents itself, and it looks appealing, doesn’t necessarily mean it is from God. And likewise, just because an open door looks a little uncertain, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t walk through it.

The key is knowing how to discern if an opportunity is really an open door from God. I don’t want to miss those open doors because I was afraid to walk through them. But I also don’t want to take every opportunity that comes along, assuming it is from God’s hand and has his blessings attached.

In a recent conversation with a friend we talked about the faith and courage to walk through a door that God is holding open for us, even if we’re not exactly sure of what’s on the other side. But then the question came up: How can you tell if God is the one opening the door?

The Bible gives us some principles to help us discern if an “open door” or opportunity is really from God:

 

1. The Door that God Opens Will Never Contradict His Word

Many Christians see opportunities to make more money as an open door from God, even though the opportunity means a job that will keep them from regular fellowship or service in their church. However, God’s Word tells us not to neglect meeting together for worship (Hebrews 10:25). Some women have told me that they believe God opened a door to a dating relationship for them, even though it meant being in a situation where they were “unequally yoked” with an unbeliever, which Scripture also warns against (2 Corinthians 6:14). God will not lead you toward an opportunity that contradicts what he clearly says in his Word. Nor will he open a door that would require personal compromise or disobedience in order for you to enter. As humans prone to sin, we have an excellent way of turning a clear mandate of God’s completely around and justifying it by our circumstances, but that is not how God works. If there is a compromise in any way, or we have to bend Scripture to justify our “open door” then it is likely not a door that God is opening for us. I would call anything that contradicts his Word a temptation, rather than an open door from God. And God’s Word clearly says that God does not tempt us (James 1:13-14).

 

2. The Door that God Opens Will be Accompanied by Confirmation 

In Matthew 18:15-16, Jesus laid out instructions for confronting sin among believers saying “But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses’.” I believe the same applies when it comes to God confirming something in his Word. He will often confirm or establish a matter by “two or three witnesses” whether they be verses from the Word of God, advice from a pastor or well-respected person who is grounded in Scripture, or a non-compromising circumstance that continues to present itself. Through prayer, discernment and seeking godly counsel, you should be able to tell if that “open door” and its confirmations are truly coming from God.

 

3. The Door God Opens Will Require You to Depend on Him

God is not going to give us something that will alienate us from him or make us believe we no longer need him. He is a God of relationship, and a God who insists upon being first in our lives (Matthew 6:33). Therefore, if you find yourself saying “I can’t do this unless God goes before me,” or “I can do this, but only with God’s help and leading” I would say, in my personal experience, it’s likely something God is calling you to do. Hebrews 11:6 says: “And without faith it is impossible to please him, for he who comes to God must believe that he is and that he is a rewarder of those who seek him.” Many times an “open door” from God is one that allows our faith to be stretched and strengthened. That, after all, is God’s objective for us: to grow in faith and Christ-likeness.

Take your opportunity or “open door” to God and ask for his confirmation – through his Word and godly counsel from others – and his peace in the decision, and you can have the assurance that you aren’t just choosing a door at random, but you’re carefully walking through the ones he wants you to enter.

Full article can be found here

Life Planning
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5 Ways To Know If A Job Is God’s Will

Monday, 06 March 2017 by Johnny Harwood

Vocation and profession have an important role to play in fulfilling God’s purposes and plans in our life. They’re not everything, but they are an important factor. When God created man, He gave him the privilege of work in His Garden.

Genesis 1:28 says, “And God blessed them. And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.'”

Earthly professions are not simply a means to make ends meet, but also our opportunity to participate in God’s work here on earth.

But how do we know if a certain career path – whether that’s one you are currently on or one you are planning to enter – is God’s will for us or not? Here are five signs that a certain job is really what God is calling us into.

It Glorifies God. The chief end of any profession is the glory of God and the advancement of His kingdom. Do our jobs or the jobs we plan to enter into honor God and His commandments? Does the way we carry them out show integrity and the fear of the Lord? The one necessity to every job is that it is to glorify God.

You Enjoy Your Job. God gives us work not simply as a duty, but in many ways also to be a delight. That’s not to say that our feelings should be the primary indicator of God’s blessing over it. Sometimes it’s also a matter of learning to love what you do and coming to terms with the value that is behind it.

You Are Good At It and Continue To Become Better At It. Anything and everything God calls us into will not just be enjoyable, but something we actually have the gift and skill for. God wants us to work excellently at what we do and one way He makes sure of that is by matching us to a profession where we maximize the talents He gives us.

It brings financial reward. The reality is that our jobs are God’s primary way of providing for our daily needs. Unless a job is meeting your financial needs, it cannot be sustainable. God is planning for the long term and for that to happen, your job must be sustainable and one that involves being fairly and adequately compensated monetarily.

Your Profession Blesses Others. More than just being a blessing to us, our jobs are intended also to bless people around you. Does your job bless your boss, co-workers, clients, and family? If it does then that’s a good sign that you are where God wants you to be.

Full article can be found here
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The Defense for Creation

Tuesday, 31 January 2017 by Johnny Harwood

THE ISSUE: Does current scientific data support the theory that the universe was created with intelligent design?

WHAT SKEPTICS SAY: Belief in an intelligent designer is a religious theory that has no basis in science. Scientific data supports evolutionary theory, and everyone knows it.

WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth” (Genesis 1:1). “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands” (Psalm 19:1).

THE DESIGN HYPOTHESIS

“A big, fundamental question, like belief in God (or disbelief), is not settled by a single argument,” said physicist-turned-theologian John Polkinghorne in Quarks, Chaos, and Christianity. “It’s too complicated for that. What one has to do is to consider lots of different issues and see whether or not the answers one gets add up to a total picture that makes sense.”

That’s the approach I took in my investigation. I probed six different scientific disciplines to see whether they point toward or away from the existence of an intelligent designer.

When I opened my mind to the possibility of an explanation beyond naturalism, the theory denying any supernatural existence in the universe, I found that the design hypothesis — that says there is a purposeful, intelligent, created order to the universe — most clearly accounted for the evidence of science. Consider some of the facts from my investigation:

The Evidence of Cosmology

Thanks to scientific discoveries of the last 50 years, the ancient kalam cosmological argument has taken on a powerful and persuasive new force. As described by William Lane Craig, the argument is simple yet elegant: First, whatever begins to exist has a cause.

Second, the universe had a beginning. Based on the data, virtually all cosmologists now agree the universe began in the Big Bang at some specific point in the past. Craig stressed that even alternate theories for the origin of the universe require a beginning.

The conclusion then follows from the two premises: Therefore, the universe has a cause. Even once-agnostic astronomer Robert Jastrow conceded the essential elements of Christianity and modern cosmology are the same: “The chain of events leading to man commenced suddenly and sharply, at a definite moment in time, in a flash of light and energy.”

The Evidence of Physics

One of the most striking discoveries of modern science has been that the laws and constants of physics unexpectedly conspire in an extraordinary way to make the universe habitable for life. For instance, said physicist-philosopher Robin Collins, gravity is fine-tuned to one part in a hundred million billion billion billion billion billion.

The cosmological constant, which represents the energy density of space, is as precise as throwing a dart from space and hitting a bull’s-eye just a trillionth of a trillionth of an inch in diameter on Earth. One expert said there are more than 30 physical or cosmological parameters that require precise calibration in order to produce a universe that can sustain life.

The Evidence of Astronomy

Similar to the fine-tuning of physics, Earth’s position in the universe and its intricately choreographed geological and chemical processes work together with exquisite efficiency to create a safe place for humans to live.

For example, astronomer Guillermo Gonzalez and science philosopher Jay Wesley Richards said it would take a star with the highly unusual properties of our sun — the right mass, the right light, the right age, the right distance, the right orbit, the right galaxy, the right location — to nurture living organisms on a circling planet. Numerous factors make our solar system and our location in the universe just right for a habitable environment.

What’s more, the exceptional conditions that make life possible also happen to make our planet strangely well-suited for viewing and analyzing the universe and our environment. All of this suggests our planet may be rare, if not unique, and that the Creator wanted us to be able to explore the cosmos.

“If the universe had not been made with the most exacting precision, we could never have come into existence,” said Harvard-educated astrophysicist John A. O’Keefe of NASA. “It is my view that these circumstances indicate the universe was created for man to live in.”

The Evidence of Biochemistry

Darwin said, “If it could be demonstrated that any complex organ existed which could not possibly have been formed by numerous, successive, slight modifications, my theory would absolutely break down.” Biochemist Michael Behe has demonstrated exactly that through his description of “irreducibly complex” molecular machines.

These complicated, microscopic contraptions, such as cilia and bacterial flagella, are extremely unlikely to have been built piece-by-piece through Darwinian processes, because they had to be fully present in order to function. Other examples include the incredible system of transporting proteins within cells and the intricate process of blood clotting.

More than just a devastating challenge to Darwinism, these amazing biological systems which far exceed the capacity of human technology point toward a transcendent Creator. “My conclusion,” said Behe, “can be summed up in a single word: design. I say that based on science. I believe that irreducibly complex systems are strong evidence of a purposeful, intentional design by an intelligent agent.”

The Evidence of Biological Information

The six feet of DNA coiled inside every one of our body’s one hundred trillion cells contain a four-letter chemical alphabet that spells out precise assembly instructions for all the proteins from which our bodies are made. Cambridge-educated Stephen Meyer demonstrated that no hypothesis has come close to explaining how information got into biological matter by naturalistic means.

On the contrary, he said that whenever we find a sequential arrangement that’s complex and corresponds to an independent pattern or function such as books and computer code, this kind of information is always the product of intelligence.

“Information is the hallmark of a mind,” Meyer said. “And purely from the evidence of genetics and biology, we can infer the existence of a mind that’s far greater than our own — a conscious, purposeful, rational, intelligent designer who’s amazingly creative.”

The Evidence of Consciousness

Many scientists are concluding that the laws of chemistry and physics cannot explain our experience of consciousness. Professor J.P. Moreland defined consciousness as our introspection, sensations, thoughts, emotions, desires, beliefs and free choices that make us alive and aware. The “soul” contains our consciousness and animates our body.

According to a researcher who showed that consciousness can continue after a person’s brain has stopped functioning, current scientific findings “would support the view that ‘mind,’ ‘consciousness,’ or the ‘soul’ is a separate entity from the brain.”

As Moreland said, “You can’t get something from nothing.” If the universe began with dead matter having no conscious, “how, then, do you get something totally different — consciousness, living, thinking, feeling, believing creatures — from materials that don’t have that?” But if everything started with the mind of God, he said, “we don’t have a problem with explaining the origin of our mind.”

This article can be found Here

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5 Communication Tools That Can Save Your Marriage

Wednesday, 18 January 2017 by Johnny Harwood

We were blissfully in love and thrilled to be on our honeymoon. Then came day five—we had our first argument. That put us on a slippery slope moving swiftly toward desperation. Within the first nine months of our marriage, Gina and I were both convinced that we not only married the wrong person, but also were condemned to a loveless marriage.

One very tangible side effect of our difficulties was poor communication. I would ask, “What’s for dinner?” She would hear, “I can’t believe you haven’t prepared dinner again tonight!”

She would say, “What time are you coming home?” I would hear, “You better get here and help me because you’re never here.”

We could not express anything we wanted to. We resorted to hurting each other with our words. We did not build each other up … we tore each other down and caused deep, emotional pain. Quite honestly, we had endured so much hurt that we could not see any hope for ever communicating well. Our despair was overwhelming.

In counseling we began learning about intentional communication. I remember thinking, “That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. This stuff is so simple … I can’t believe I’m paying this guy for this.”

But, once I got off of my high horse, I realized something very simple yet profound: If communication was really that simple, everyone would be doing it and all of our communication would glorify God and reflect His image (1 Peter 4:11; Ephesians 4:29). Glorifying God did not describe my communication, and it may not describe yours either. In fact, many of us struggle to communicate well even with those we love the most: our siblings, our parents, our children, our spouse.

The road I took to learn about communication was a tough one. Here are some of the tools that helped transform my marriage and change my heart.

 

  1. The Principle of First Response: The course of a conflict is not determined by the person who initiates, but by the person who responds.

You may feel it’s okay to strike at someone verbally because, “He is picking a fight with me.” You may be correct, but that person does not have the power to decide whether a fight actually occurs. That power rests with the responder. As Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Jesus has a well-worn track record with the Principle of First Response. Recall the times that the Scribes and the Pharisees came to question Him. They were the initiators in nearly all of their communication. Their intention was to defraud Jesus and corner Him. In how many cases were they successful? None. They failed because the power to decide the direction of each conflict rested with Jesus, the responder (Luke 20:19-26).

The implications of following Jesus’ example were huge. My wife’s sin did not give me free license to sin in return. And conversely, my sin did not give Gina free license either. By following the principle of first response, we were being called to take a poorly spoken comment and redirect it.

 

  1. The Principle of Physical Touch: It is difficult to sin against someone while you are tenderly touching him or her.

A difficult time to apply this principle is after an argument has begun. However, a perfect time is when you know you are about to sit down and have a discussion about something that might lead to tension.

You know what those topics are in your marriage. Maybe it’s a conversation about a specific child. Maybe it’s your in-laws or your finances. For us, as you might imagine, it was when we sat down to talk about our communication. Those were tough conversations.

During these times, we would sit down and pray together … and touch. Usually we were at opposite ends of the couch with Gina’s legs stretched out across mine while I held them. (You may prefer holding hands or sitting close enough that you naturally touch.)

As we talked, we would inevitably notice something. When our conversation began to drift toward conflict, we stopped touching. We found what I’m certain you’ll find: It is very difficult to fight with someone you are tenderly touching. So, we had a choice at that point: to stop fighting so we could keep touching or to stop touching so we could keep fighting.

This type of tender touching has served us in two ways. First, it is a deterrent from arguing. Second, when we do drift into an argument, our physical separation is a visual and physical cue that our conversation is no longer glorifying God. We notice it, correct it, and get back on the right track.

 

  1. The Principle of Proper Timing: The success of a conversation can be maximized if the timing of the conversation is carefully chosen.

The book of Proverbs tells us, “A man finds joy in giving an apt reply—and how good is a timely word!” (15:23).

Typically, the first opportunity Gina and I have to talk about the day is at dinner. We often take time then to catch up. With four young children, our dinner table is an active and busy one. Consequently, we cannot practically have an extended and meaningful conversation.

So, if something has occurred that I must discuss with Gina, I will wait until the children are asleep. To bring it up during dinner is to invite frustration and ineffectiveness.

Let’s look at a couple of scenarios where we’re more likely to fail.

Gina is a very intentional homemaker and often has wonderful ideas on how to better serve our family. Let’s say she is contemplating a new approach to family dining. She’s been thinking through this for weeks and she’s now ready to get my input. This is a very good thing—but probably not at 1:30 on a Sunday afternoon when I’m watching a football game.

I’m also prone to fall into the poor timing trap. For example, Gina and I could be downstairs enjoying normal conversation. We head upstairs at 11:30 p.m. and Gina is ready for bed. As the lights go out, I ask, “What do you think God is doing with the children?” This is a question Gina would love for me to ask … about three hours earlier. When 11:30 comes, she’s ready for bed—not an extensive discussion.

There are times when a conversation is critical to have at that very moment. In those cases, of course, the football game goes off and we talk. Or, the lights go back on and we’re up until 2 a.m. However, those should be the exceptions rather than the rule. The majority of the time, we should be more strategic in the timing of our conversations.

Are you a “share your feelings” type of communicator or “Just the facts?” We share about this and more proven tips for communication at the Weekend To Remember getaway. Find out which one you are!

 

  1. The Principle of Mirroring: Understanding can be enhanced if we measure it often throughout a conversation.

The Scriptures inform us that, if we are to understand and become wise, we must be sure to incline our ears. Proverbs 22:17 states, “Incline your ear and hear the words of the wise, and apply your mind to my knowledge.”

Have you ever meant one thing by what you said but the person you were talking to heard something else? It can make for very frustrating communication. If you’re not sure if your spouse is getting what you’re talking about, check to see if you hear this phrase a lot: “What do you mean by that?”

Mirroring can help you test whether you are hearing your spouse properly. Once your spouse makes a point … repeat it to him or her. Say something like this: “So, what I hear you saying is …” or, “Are you saying … ?” Then, in your own words, tell your spouse what you understand to have been said. Then, the most important part of mirroring comes. You must allow your spouse to either affirm or correct what you’ve said.

As we learned this principle, I often didn’t like Gina’s negative or inaccurate summaries of my statements. So, I defended them and failed to allow her the freedom to speak honestly. In time, I learned that her summaries actually were quite accurate; my reactions were negative because I didn’t like how they exposed me.

The point of mirroring is not to be right, not to defend yourself, but to know that you are hearing accurately. If you seek to understand rather than to make yourself understood, then you are primed for success with the principle of mirroring.

 

  1. The Principle of Prayer: Success in communication is more likely when we invite God to be an active participant and guide.

This principle is not complicated, but it requires our close attention. We’ve become so accustomed to hearing about prayer that its importance often passes us by.

No matter what principle you might be using at the time or what subject you might be talking about, no scenario is beyond prayer. I have tended to overestimate my own ability to communicate well and righteously. That was evidenced in our first year of marriage.

We will eventually and inevitably sin in our communication with each other. When it begins to drift away from God’s intended purpose for it, we have a choice: Will we be puffed up with pride or will we have the humility to stop right where we are and ask God to help redeem our conversation?

I wish someone would have shared with me what late 19th and early 20th century evangelist R.A. Torrey said on prayer:

The reason why many fail in battle is because they wait until the hour of battle. The reason why others succeed is because they have gained their victory on their knees long before the battle came … Anticipate your battles; fight them on your knees before temptation comes, and you will always have victory.

One of the greatest difficulties that couples face with this principle is awkwardness. They are not used to praying together. So, as they begin to like each other less in the midst of unconstructive communication, the thought of praying together is not very appealing.

We learned an easy fix to this … start praying together. Begin with 30 seconds of prayer as you go to bed each night. Pray regularly as a family prior to eating. Pick one night a week to pray for your children, your pastor, and your marriage. Among the enormous benefits that you’ll see in your family, the regularity of prayer will make praying in the midst of communication breakdown more probable.

 

The transformation never ends

As a result of God’s grace intersecting with these principles, communication is now among the greatest strengths of our marriage. It’s not that we don’t still mess up—we do. Thankfully, God continues to work on me. He’ll continue to work on you, too.

At one time, I was convinced that I married the wrong woman. She was convinced she married the wrong man. Now, we cannot imagine knowing, loving, or enjoying anyone more than we do each other.

Your relationship with your spouse may differ from ours, but this much is true: Your spouse should be the single most important person you have in your life. Like it or not, communication is the tool that God has given us to knit our hearts and our minds together. Success is possible if we’re willing to apply some intentional principles. We’ve all been called to God-honoring communication. Step forward in humility and faith and watch Him transform you.

Original article can be found here

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  • Published in Marriage, Uncategorized
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5 Steps to Resist Temptation

Monday, 02 January 2017 by Johnny Harwood

5 Practices to Resist Temptation and Grow Stronger

  1. Recognize Your Tendency to Sin

James 1:14 explains that we are tempted when we become enticed by our own natural desires. The first step toward overcoming temptation is to recognize the human tendency to be seduced by our own fleshly desires.

Temptation to sin is a given, so don’t be surprised by it. Expect to be tempted daily, and be prepared for it.

  1. Flee From Temptation

The New Living Translation of 1 Corinthians 10:13 is easy to understand and apply:

But remember that the temptations that come into your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can’t stand up against it. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it.

When you come face to face with temptation, look for the way out—the way of escape—that God has promised. Then skedaddle. Flee. Run as fast as you can.

3. Resist Temptation With the Word of Truth

Hebrews 4:12 says that God’s Word is living and active. Did you know you can carry a weapon that will make your thoughts obey Jesus Christ? If you don’t believe me, read 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 One of these weapons is the Word of God.

Jesus overcame the devil’s temptations in the wilderness with the Word of God. If it worked for him, it will work for us. And because Jesus was fully human, he is able to identify with our struggles and give us the exact help we need to resist temptation.

While it can be helpful to read God’s Word when you’re being tempted, sometimes that’s not practical. Even better is to practice reading the Bible daily so that eventually you have so much of it on the inside, you are ready whenever temptation comes.

4. Refocus Your Mind and Heart With Praise

How often have you been tempted to sin when your heart and mind were fully concentrated on worshiping the Lord? I’m guessing your answer is never.

Praising God takes our focus off of self and puts it on God. You may not be strong enough to resist temptation on your own, but as you focus on God, he will inhabit your praises. He will give you the strength to resist and walk away from the temptation.

May I suggest Psalm 147 as a good place to start?

5. Repent Quickly When You Fail

In several places, the Bible tells us the best way to resist temptation is to flee from it (1 Corinthians 6:18; 1 Corinthians 10:14; 1 Timothy 6:11; 2 Timothy 2:22). Yet still we fall from time to time. When we fail to flee from temptation, inevitably we fall.

This article can be found in its entirety at here

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  • Published in Life Planning, Men, Spiritual Growth
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